A Co-operative Manifesto

I was thinking the other day, in my usual megalomaniac way, that I am still eligible to stand for the US presidency. Even though I am finally British now, I was born in the USA…

In many ways, I would be the perfect president: I speak more than one European language, I have a green and co-operative agenda, and I have also dabbled in pacifism.

So I’m wondering what I should put in my manifesto.

Any ideas?

2 thoughts on “A Co-operative Manifesto”

  1. I think I’d be glad of the right to bear arms against my government if they forced me to learn spanish. What’s wrong with bear arms anyway? If I want hairy arms with claws then you can’t stop me! It might be hard to eat rice or pasta and I might get fleas but dagnammit bear arms would be flipping cool!

  2. So here are a few ideas: If elected, I would…

    1. Sign up to the Kyoto protocol immediately.

    2. Pay up all outstanding contributions to the UN.

    3. Restore relations with Cuba.

    4. Close Guantanamo Bay and issue a formal apology to all affected by it.

    5. Raise taxation on petrol to European levels.

    6. Open the border crossings between Mexico and the USA and work towards EU-style freedom of movement.

    7. Change the name of the country to ‘United States of a Small Part of America’

    8. Initiate a exchange programme that encourages every teenager to live or study in another American country.

    9. Revoke the ‘right’ to bear firearms as enshrined in the 2nd Ammendment.

    10. Make Spanish an official language and force everyone in public office to learn it.

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