John Carter

I went to see this huge leaden splurge of sci-fi epic cinema at the IMAX hoping that it would seem *big*. The problem was that the only option was to see it in 3D, and the colossal image taking up my full field of vision without the glasses seemed inexplicable tiny with the 3D glasses. How is it possible them to make a visually stunning 2D film so terrible in cardboard cut-out 3D? I couldn’t even see the whole picture without moving my head around. Please, 3D, just go away already.